oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
