Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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