awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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