Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
