you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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