holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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