I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
high people should be assigned attendants
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
