I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
