She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
