Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize