i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
