Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
