I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
