You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
