too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
NoShamevember. You game?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
