if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
