I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
