she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
