How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
