If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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