"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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