Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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