I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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