:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
