I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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