I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize