Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
