Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
