Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
These tits shall not be calmed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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