dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
