Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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