You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i will never coherently bang her
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
