fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
