I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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