I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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