yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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