wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
