i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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