Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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