i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
