After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
