i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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