the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
