man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
