What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
