I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
sarcasm needs its own font
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize