I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
