brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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