you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
