Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
