Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
