How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
