I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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