you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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