she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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