this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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