ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Welp...herpes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
