Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
