Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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