So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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