guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
