so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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